Tired
by VitameatavegaminGirl
Summary: Izaya is tired and accidentally comes across Shizuo before he can get home. Shizuo decides to have a little fun at Izaya's expense. R&R please! (No pairings, just me having stayed up too late XD )


**It is a little past midnight right now and I am still up...what on earth is wrong with me?!**

 **Haah...anyway, this is just a silly little oneshot I thought up.**

 **I don't own Durarara or any of its characters no matter how much I wish I did.**

 **Enjoy! :)**

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Izaya is tired. Really tired. He has been up for the past forty-eight hours (doing who knows what) and is absolutely exhausted. All the information broker wants to do is go to bed and sleep for the next week. Unfortunately for him, he ran into Shizuo before he was able to find sanctuary in his own home.

The ex-bartender cackled happily at the prospect of beating his enemy into the dirt, "IZAYA-KUN!" He shouted, a maniacal grin splayed across his face, "I'M GONNA KILL YO-" Shizuo stopped mid-sentence when he noticed that the 'Flea' (as he so often called Izaya) didn't seem to be all there at the moment. "Um…Izaya?" Shizuo tilted his head to the side and stared at the brunette in confusion, "You okay?"

In response, Izaya yawned widely and stretched like a drugged cat, "Mmph…m' fine," he rubbed his face and ignored the fact that Shizuo had taken a few steps closer (you see, Izaya is very much like a drunk person when he is tired; some people are grumpy, others get whiny, but Izaya is more along the lines of a happy drunk). Izaya yawned again and said lazily, "Neee, Shizu-chan, why do ya always try ta kill me? I fugot."

Shizuo blinked a few times before replying, "Uh…you tried to have me killed, or arrested, which ever was more convenient, on lots of occasions."

"Oh," the information broker knew that it was in his best interest to get the heck out of there but he didn't feel like leaving just yet, "I'm sorry. Yer jus soooooo much fun ta play wif, Shizu-chan!" Izaya threw out his arms and spun around, a dumb smile breaking up his petite features.

Shizuo didn't know what to say. First of all, his mortal enemy had just apologized, and secondly, he was acting like a lunatic (not that he wasn't one on a daily basis, but you catch my drift, right?). "Um, Izaya?"

"Hmm? Whatsamatter, Shizu-chan?"

"Have you been drinking?"

"Nope! I don like alcohol. Taste bad. Blech!" Izaya stuck out his tongue and shook his head to emphasize his point, "I's jus a little tired s'all. I avn't slept in da last…hmmm…lessee…two days. I think. Not too sure, but I think s'ats about right." The brunette was really slurring his words now and he was wobbling about like a toddler who wasn't too keen on the whole standing idea.

"Uh…okay, then. Gosh, I guess you must be really tired then, huh?" The blonde put a careful hand on Izaya's shoulder (just enough to keep him from toppling over).

"Yup! I'm beat!"

"I see. Uh…I guess I would prefer giving you a good whoppin' when you're at your best," Shizuo looked around for a cab to send Izaya off in, "Why don't you go home and get some rest Izaya. You'll feel a lot better in the morning."

Izaya nodded dazedly and pointed to a tall apartment building, "Home," he mumbled quietly, "There."

Shizuo sighed and said, "Do you want me to walk you there?"

"Mm. Izaya tired. Shizu-chan not tired. Shizu-chan take Izaya home." And with that our poor information broker collapsed into Shizuo's arms and promptly passed out.

Shizuo was now left with an unconscious Izaya and an unknown apartment number. He didn't even know what floor Izaya lived on. Shizuo sighed loudly before throwing his charge over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carrying him into the apartment complex.

Upon arriving at the door he noticed a sign informing the public of that the elevators were no longer working. Muttering vile curses he got to the check in counter and he waved over an employee before calmly asking, "Where does this guy live?" He turned around so the girl could see Izaya's face and turned back to continue, "He pointed this building out before passing out."

The girl looked a little confused at the odd request but as soon as she heard the ex-bartender's explanation she quickly gave him an answer, "Izaya-san lives on the fifteenth floor, room 1586. Would you like me to give you our spare key?"

"Yes, please." Now that Shizuo was armed with a number and a key he was ready to make the grueling climb up fifteen flights of stairs.

He found that the hike up wasn't nearly as bad as he had expected. In fact it had been a rather nice work out. He eventually reached room 1586 and opened the door. When inside the apartment, he searched out a couch and tossed the sleeping brunette onto it.

As he was about to leave, he had a positively brilliant idea. Instead of walking away and simply leaving Izaya unscathed Shizuo decided to humiliate him a bit first. The blonde ran around the room and picked up as many sharpies as he could find. He then grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and went to work.

He finished his masterpiece about a half-hour later and had taken a video of the whole thing, including some very 'flattering' photos. After he had taken around twenty pictures he once again went around the flat, this time in an attempt to hide all the mirrors (or at the very least make them unusable). There were ten mirrors in all and he was able to disable nine of them (the last one was a small compact mirror Namie kept hidden in a drawer). Shizuo then chuckled happily to himself and waltzed out of Izaya's apartment.

The next day Izaya woke up feeling refreshed, content and ready to start another day. That is until he walked downstairs and gave a chipper 'Good morning' to the young receptionist. She immediately broke out into peals of uncontrollable laughter. He must have seemed very confused because after a few minutes of her cackling she rooted around in her purse and found a small mirror for him to look into. Shizuo had really out done himself. Izaya stared into the mirror and what stared back at him was one of the ugliest sights he had ever seen. Shizuo had drawn huge red lips, awful pink and purple blush, a curly 'French' mustache, a weird kind of goatee, a big red nose, and on Izaya's eyelids he had drawn red and black crossed eyes. The poor brunette looked like a circus clown. And to make it worse, not only did the sharpie just barely begin to wear off after a week of heavy scrubbing, but the whole world knew about his humiliation. Shizuo had posted the video of his artistic abilities on YouTube and the 'flattering' photos he had taken afterward were all over Facebook.

Izaya couldn't even walk to the store without being pointed out and laughed at. One night he was sitting in room scrolling through TV channels in an attempt to lift his mood when his cell phone rang. It was a rather important client who had seen the scandalous pictures online and believed that if he had let something so juvenile happen to him so easily he certainly couldn't handle such an significant case as was his own and that if he was really interested in getting people's business, he should go become a clown. Izaya did his best to salvage their deal but the client would hear none of it; the deal was off and that's final.

That night Izaya swore on his grave that he would get Shizuo for this. He would make his life a living torture chamber. And Izaya would enjoy every bloody minute of it.

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 **Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing! Please review!**

 **Nighty-night! :)**


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